1/1

Never thought boredom could make me feel this depressed.

I haven’t done anything productive for a year. Literally.

Since I didn’t do well with my exams back in Nov 2010, everything just crumbles. Parents forced me to retake the exam in June 2011 even though I didn’t want to because I knew I couldn’t. I hated my subjects so as a result, I didn’t do well again. Well, not really. I improved a bit. But it wasn’t enough to further my studies to university. Fortunately though, I applied a private college under a local government scholarship scheme and I still yet to find out if I’m eligible or not. The college accepted me already but the waiting game is for the scholarship. And I’ve been waiting since November last year.

Literally, I didn’t do anything at all last year. Nothing productive. I wasted one year staying at home. I don’t have to wake up early everyday, play video games all day long, sleep, eat, tumblr. Rinse and repeat. Everyday. I admit though, being a lazy ass, I was enjoying all of that and I didn’t complained at all haha. But now, I’m just really depressed. Everyone is working their assess of with their studies and I’m here still rotting my brain. It doesn’t help that my mom keeps reminding me that I’ve wasted one whole year doing nothing.

And I miss my friends so much. I haven’t hang out with them for awhile and being stuck here at home just makes it worse. I need to be away from tumblr or twitter for awhile or being in front of the laptop. I’ve been thinking of going back to drawing and painting even though i threw away some of my art stuffs because my art dreams are crushed haha. And I’ve already made a few plans to spend as much time with my cousins and friends before college starts. So, I guess in a way, I’m trying to “get a life” ._.

People told me in a joking manner that I should make use of all the free time I have before the real work begins. That’s the thing. I’ve made use of all my free time already for a year. I think that’s enough, don’t you think? I’m ready and eager to study again and prove to my parents that I can make them proud.

So yeah, all of my stuffs will be on queue till…. I feel better.